It's Not a Race

And I'm not just talking about the election

Hey friends,

Americans: please vote. If you’re not sure if you can vote, click here. If you have questions about your ballot, reach out to your local election officials here. The electoral system in America is broken, but our choice today is between a treasonous, convicted felon, and a former state attorney general, US Senator, and current Vice-President. Vote.

BUT, I don’t want to write more about the election today. I’ve been reading and talking about it for months—years!—it seems, and I have voted and now all I can do is wait. I’ve actually been pretty calm about this, not because I am sure of anything or not scared the fascists could win, but because this is how I deal with stressful things. Dissociation. And/or recognizing that my worry won’t change anything and not wallowing in that. YMMV.

Instead, I am listening to a FANTASTIC book. You might have heard of it. H is for Hawk, by Helen Macdonald. I know what you’re thinking. Kate. Yes. I’ve heard of this one.¹ I know, I know. I’m coming to this book late. I just looked it up and was surprised to learn it came out in 2015. 2015!!!!!! Basically 10 years ago!!!! I knew as soon as it came out that I should read it and would love it, but sometimes you have to come to books when you come to them. There’s a print copy in my house and has been for years. But I was looking for my next audiobook to listen to, remembered this one, and got it from the library last week.

H is for Hawk is a memoir about a woman processing her grief after the death of her beloved father by way of falconry. She trains a goshawk, specifically. In doing so, and in writing the book, she realizes how this has allowed her to hide from grief and the world, and also how to come back to herself, and the world. This description does not do the book justice. It contains some of the most stunning prose I’ve read in years. It includes critique and history of T.H. White, who wrote The Sword in the Stone and The Once and Future King, a desperate, aching, searching person I didn’t know I needed to learn about. (I can’t say I’m particularly interested in Arthurian legend, but now maybe I am.) I am stealing every second I can to listen to this book, read beautifully by the author. I don’t want it to end.

I’ve been a casual birder since, oh, about 2014. I was in the height of my birding excitement when this book came out. I was the prime readership for this book! My own father had passed only six years before. But I resisted reading it. I mean, my whole job is people telling me what books to read (clients, queriers, etc) so I am always resistant to cries of omg you HAVE to read this!!! It’s one part you can’t tell me what to do and another part sure, get in line. And then, sometimes you just have to wait for a book to find you, instead of you to find it.

I do feel a little bad that I could have enjoyed this book so much sooner. I can think of other times in the last ten years where it would have brought me great comfort. But there are thousands of books I haven’t read that will do that. This one didn’t come to me until now. That’s ok. It’s not a race. I can enjoy every second of this book without regret. I can be present in this book, while I read it, instead of beating myself up for not doing so sooner. I am talking the should out of my reading (except for you clients and queriers). I’m going to read (for fun) the books that come to me when they come to me and I’m not going to be ashamed to say oh, I haven’t read that one yet. Yet.

Just think of all the good books that are out there waiting for you. You can read any of them just about anytime you want.

Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote.

OXOXOXO,

Kate

1. If you haven’t, that’s ok. You can’t know all books. This one was a best seller in the US and UK and got a lot of attention, so you might have.