Would You Like to Read My Picture Book that Didn't Sell?

Here it is!

Mar 29, 2022

Hi Friends,

A thing I’ve been doing lately, when on panels or preparing for my upcoming NYU class (this weekend! spots available! online!) is to talk about all the books I have not sold. Not as an agent, but as a writer. Why? Because it’s NORMAL not to sell every book you pitch, and I’m no different than anyone else. I’m not just saying that to make myself—or you—feel better. Sure, some people sell every book they send out, but that isn’t every idea they’ve ever had or every book they’ve written. It takes most people a few tries to find success. It takes a lot of work to write anything, so I won’t say just write another one! too blithely. Just a little blithely. If you pin your hopes to just one thing, well, you have to think about happens next if you don’t get what you want.

I didn’t get what I wanted with this book (or several after that), i.e. a book deal. But I kept writing. And I will keep writing.

I had this idea for a picture book, I think, before I had my kid, who’s FIVE now 🤯 though I don’t think I really tried to write it until after they were born. Like many new parents, just several weeks of reading picture books convinced me that I could do that, so I tried. It started with the title BRIGHT LIGHTS, BIG KITTY, which I maintain is a great title, regardless of that fact that the reference is getting farther and farther away in our collective rearview mirrors. (No, this picture book is not about cocaine or in the second person.) Early in my agenting career I had a lot of success with a book about cats with funny captions and spent (and still do!) a lot of time immersed in meme culture. Clearly there needed to be a picture book about a little girl who wanted to make her cat famous. So I gave it a shot.

(A note about picture books texts. Picture books, i.e. the ones for little kids with less text and lots of pictures, are typically about 32 finished book pages, give or take. The numbers shown below indicate the book page numbers and the text in bold is the text on the page. The notes in < > are art notes. It’s important to note where the page turns will be and the art notes show how the pictures tell as much of the story as the words. Picture books are not poems or morality stories someone then draws a bunch of pictures around. This is why picture books are among the hardest books to try to get published. They are deceptive in their difficulty. There are many ways to format picture book texts and this is just one. No, you don’t have to have the illustrations when you’re pitching one of these. )

If you keep reading, I’ll tell you why I think it didn’t sell.

Bright Lights, Big Kitty
By Kate McKean
1.
Edgar is my cat, and he should be famous.
2.
I can see his name in lights.
<Movie marquee that reads: EDGAR! WORLD’S CUTEST CAT!!!>
3.
His fur is the softest. His purr is the purrrrrest.
4.
And he is simply the world’s. cutest. cat.
<main character, a little girl, lies on the floor staring longingly up at a cute, if doofy looking cat sitting on top of the TV or other precarious perch.>
5.
I can’t figure out why all those other cats are famous
<collage of famous cats like Grumpy Cat et al>
6.
and not Edgar.
<cute image of Edgar>
7 + 8
I tried taking him for a walk so he’d get discovered by Hollywood
<Fantasy image of girl walking Edgar on a diamond studded leash along a red carpet, surrounded by paparazzi and the Hollywood sign in the background>
8 + 9
But it didn’t really work.
<Reality: Edgar splayed flat on the ground in a harness leash, stressed and refusing to walk, a dog barking in the background.>
9 + 10
I tried taking his picture to put on the internet
<Fantasy: Edgar in front of a movie set style vanity in a tiara and jewelry, girl putting make-up on him>
11 + 12
But he was having an off day
<Reality: Edgar jumping in the air, frazzled and startled by the flash from a camera phone>
13 + 14
Maybe a video! Edgar was always doing something funny.
<Fantasy: Edgar wearing sunglasses playing the piano expertly, a la Keyboard Cat>
15 + 16
But maybe we need more practice.
<Reality: Edgar asleep on the piano keyboard, Girl, with her chin in her hand, looking dejected.>
17 + 18
I have lots of books about cats. I tried to write one about Edgar.
<Fantasy: Girl in glasses with a pencil behind her ear at a laptop typing vigorously, Edgar seems to be dictating to her>
19 + 20
But it turns out, books are a lot of work.
<Reality: Edgar sitting in a pile of torn up construction paper, craft supplies and half constructed books, Girl looking tired and stressed.>
21 + 22
I tried to teach Edgar a trick
<shows her trying to teach him to sit, stay, jump, shake, roll over, but Edgar just stares at her blankly in each frame>
23 + 24
But his talents lay elsewhere.
<shows Edgar in similar frames lounging on different pieces of furniture.>
25
One day, Edgar sat in a box that was WAYYYYYY too small for him. It was the funniest thing ever!
<Edgar spilling over the sides of a tiny cardboard box>
26
He had to be the first cat to do that, but I soon discovered lots. of cats. in boxes.
<Collage of images of cats in boxes of all sizes>
27
It seemed like Edgar would never be famous.
28
Of course, if he was famous, he’d probably be too busy
<Fantasty: Edgar signing autographs in front of a limo>
29
To sleep on my head to keep me warm.
30
He’d travel too much
<Fantasy: Edgar on a private jet>
31
To help me chase butterflies in the backyard.
32
He’d have so many fans
<Fantasy: screaming crowd of fans, holding signs with his face on them>
33
That I’d never get a chance to pet him.
<lonely girl next a cat shaped dent on the couch, watching a TV show that’s a cat pun>
34.
So, maybe Edgar doesn’t need to be the world’s most famous cat
35
He can just be famous to me.
<cat and girl cuddling and happy.

Ta da! There it is. I reread it last night in preparation for this newsletter and I expected to hate it, or be embarrassed by it, or to be able to point at a few things that clearly weren’t working. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I still like it! I think it’s good! Someone should have bought it, lol! I’m not bitter, though. It just didn’t work. It wasn’t because it wasn’t good (imho, tbh). It was just because. Maybe editors didn’t think kids would get the internet jokes. Maybe only **I** (and my agent, thank you Michael) thought it was good. If I remember correctly, the editorial feed back we got was along the lines that it needed more story, more stakes. Why does Edgar need to be famous? Can Girl do more to try to achieve that? And, well, sure—those things are valid. I think it works with this level of story or stakes, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m obviously biased. I could have added more story, if someone had asked. But they didn’t and the submission ran its course and I moved on to other projects. I STILL think this is the best title ever for a picture book, but the title is not enough.

The moral of this story is many things. Sometimes “good” things don’t sell. Sometimes things don’t sell and there isn’t a super clear reason (to you or to others). It’s not who you know—because obvs I knew everyone my agent sent this book to, and they knew me. Insiders don’t automatically get every book deal. And even someone who (ostensibly) knows all the ins and outs of the business still isn’t guaranteed what they want.

Does that make you feel hopeless? It shouldn’t! It doesn’t make me feel hopeless. It feels like there is a (little bit, at least) more level playing field. Not perfectly level, but maybe not unfair in this specific way. Publishing is not a meritocracy, as I’ve said many times, but, even those of us with the utmost privilege (i.e. me) don’t get an automatic pass. That’s at least one small thing.

My agent is sending out another new project of mine soon. Fingers crossed. Maybe this time we’ll get lucky.

Happy pub day to Nick Lund (aka The Birdist) for his first (of many!) books: THE ULTIMATELY BIOGRAPHY OF EARTH out today from Workman! Illustrated by Jason Ford! Get yours today!