Let's Open This Can of Worms
Great post, Kate, as always. Early on in my career as freelance editor, when I was really struggling despite having lots of industry experience, I had an epiphany that being mad about or jealous of all the work other freelancers seemed to be getting (especially those I thought weren't very good!) was absolutely and utterly useless to me. Just a complete waste of time and mental energy. I'd be so much better off just trying to do the best I can and build my own business.
Honestly, this shift in mindset (paradigm shift, if you will?!) has been completely liberating. Any time I'm in a freelancing space (editing or writing, online or off) and find myself sliding into self-pity or resentment, I just remember this and almost by magic, I'm cured.
Thank you for this post!
Have you read, The Information by Martin Amis? It's a hilarious, gut-wretching tale of professional jealousy between two authors. I highly recommend the first 50-75 pages.
"No one is being successful AT me" damn that hit me hard, in all the right ways. I'm definitely posting this in my office for when I get itchy and bitchy while writing my memoir :)
In higher ed. it's how do you handle it when one of your grad. students becomes more famous than you?
You're inspiring as always. Thanks Kate!
Thank you! "No one is being successful AT me" is such a good reminder.
It's so important to have one or two people you can relate to honestly from this perspective so you can just vent about it honestly and get reassured that it happens to everyone. It's so soothing.
I kind of miss professional jealousy right now. Everyone is just in survival mode.
Or the reverse. Jonathan Edwards: "Seeing the calamaties of others tends to heighten the sense of our own enjoyments." I'm glad we can discuss this without judging here. Thanks for the post.
Thanks so much for this Kate! I recently hid Twitter on my phone, which has helped so much. While I truly am happy for those getting deals, it was draining and bad for my mental health. Now I’m concentrating on my own querying and writing instead of comparing.
I have to remind myself of this in both podcasting and writing. It's hard.
if ever I am blessed with an accomplishment that makes anyone else envious, I wish for the grace to help them also achieve whatever it is they want. As so many have helped me. Thanks for the terrific reminder of what it all feels like to hand over control of life to someone else's decision making process.
Thank you, this is a great post. I've had to talk to myself multiple times whenever I find a debut novel (I've just finished mine and am querying it) that blows me away and I doubt everything I've written and want their life :) Thankfully I have gotten myself back on track every time but the green-eyed monster is still lurking out there!