45 Comments

This is a great perspective... though it's also good to remember that at some points in our lives and careers it's easier to be magnanimous about rejection than others. This post is written from a position of security in this industry. Hard-won security, absolutely! But it's a very different scenario for authors querying their fifth novel, working a thousand hours a year unpaid to get their foot on the first rung of the ladder, or early career agents also working with no guarantee of a paycheck, at risk of being fired by their big agency if they don't make enough sales. Some rejections have much higher stakes than others.

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author

1000000000000000% true.

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That was how I looked at rejections from agents. But even before I read Kate’s post, I realized that I’m the only person capable of keeping my books from getting to the market. That’s applicable whether or not an agent wants to rep me.

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Great post! I was going to query you, but I just decided to self-publish as my book is ready and I don’t want to wait a year or more to see it in print. Everyone always has their reasons and I hope this author chose wisely.

As someone who had an agent that didn’t work out in the past, that quit on me, then wanted to get back together, then did it all over again, and felt like a turbulent boyfriend, made me make so many changes to a book, got me a deal and then lost the deal, and caused me a lot of heartache, I know having the right agent is extremely important!

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author

Sending you good vibes for your book release!!!!!!

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Thank you so much!! November 15th—Acid Christmas is dropping! Hahah 🎅🏿🎄🎆❄️🌨️🇨🇦🦝

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I had a somewhat similar experience with my first agent in that it felt, in my case, more like a crappy boyfriend, than a turbulent one. Since ending things I have felt some heartbreak even though I ended it, and more than anything a real lack of trust when it comes to going out and getting “back in the saddle” so to speak to find another agent. As I research, with every agent, I find myself asking not “I wonder if you will like my work,” and instead “what if I don’t like the way YOU work.”

I think of self-publishing all the time but I’m mostly scared because I just don’t feel I have the output or the marketing gumption to sell books that way. And I still just dream of finding an editor who “gets me.” Lol. Why is it all so much like dating?

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Yep! So much like dating! And don't you find that even when you don't like the other person, you still wanna be liked? 😬

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It really is, though I wonder if it’s my own codependency issues or something, but I don’t think so. It was our dynamic. And thank you for sharing this because I think it’s more common than we realize, but few talk about it. Would likely only go for a female agent if I were to ever do this again, or at least someone I’d met first in person.

Good luck to you too!

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My agent was female. I guess I thought “boyfriend” experience because that’s what the relationship felt like to me. She was a highly reputable agent sign lots of well known clients. I think with agents it’s one of those thing like just because this “boyfriend” didn’t work out/wasn’t for you, it doesn’t mean they’re all like that. But once you’ve been “heartbroken” it’s hard to ever want to go back there. This is especially true in publishing when self-publishing can be just as viable.

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Ah I get you, and yes, that’s so true!

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Oh man, do I feel your struggles, Charlotte. :) But now, as with unrequited love, I pine for my old agent and wish i had him back! ha!

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Ahh haha that’s funny. Maybe I’ll feel the same way one day.

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Boy, Charlotte, whatta rough experience! At least with self publishing you are in the driver's seat.

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Yes! I think I’m a bit scarred by my first trad pub experience. Sort of still want to fulfill that dream, but at the same time I know finding an agent is really only the beginning of a very long process and a tremendous challenge.

No guarantee a publisher will buy the book, no guarantee that it will ever see print, and no guarantee that readers will buy it. You could even make many edits and have the publisher drop you. This happened to my friend with Penguin and then she had to pay Penguin back for her advance after they sat on her book for a year. So many things can go wrong.

Obviously just the nature of the business, but especially for a weirdo book like mine involving psychedelics and Christmas, I was just like, let me take it straight to the people and have fun with it!

And thankfully I have other income and work, so don’t need a big financial book deal to be able to keep afloat while writing.

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So important to remember that agents get rejected too! It's part of the job. If anyone knows what it's like to experience rejection, it's us.

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I Never Thought to Say No.

I appreciate your candor. I honestly never considered that agents must take part in this macabre dance of necessary rejection. One of the questions keeping me up at night is do I query?

However, after reading this post, it feels like some of the power is restored to me--as a writer. I never thought about saying no to an agent who offered representation. It kind of shift my perspective. Agents can’t agent without writers.

Keep sharing these lovely anecdotes and I’ll get my WIP ready to be rejected by agents not right for me, until the right one reads what I call, sophisticated-dark-raw- chocolate writing style and falls in love with it.

Happy agenting!

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author

Yes! You have so much more power than you think! We can't sell books your don't write!!

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A great read! It’s great to hear from your point of view. Rejection works both ways. I’ve always been wary of agents. I’ve had a couple of rejections this year and recently for my debut novel. It’s tough but a necessary evil. Rejection helps reflection and I’m now editing and preparing my chapters for resubmission. And trying to finish my book before I look for representation again. Not sure if that’s the right decision. I had thought of sending you my proposal and began to do it but thought you’d be inundated. Thank you for sharing this newsletter it’s hugely helpful to me and any other writers ✍️

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All agents are inundated all the time! Send anyway! (If you want an agent.) And if your work is a novel, def finish it. If it's non-fiction, you can write a book proposal, though some choose to write the whole thing first, too.

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Hi Kate

Thank you for your comments. I've been away for half term holidays. I would love to send my proposal and extract to you. Do you have an email or do I send it in here?

Many thanks

Sharon

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'Magnanimous McKean' is your name! You don't often hear about this important side of the decision-making coin for authors. I wonder what other metrics writers use to assess agents. Is genre-related sales really the best one?

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I don't know if sales is the *best* metric to use, because writers only know what's posted online and no agent is going to be like *here's my full accounting ledger of all my sales.* But genre-related sales were what this author told me, and it makes sense for this author and genre. Some writers prioritize vibes, some editorial comments, some clout, some ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. There isn't a standard rubric for making a decision like this.

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Thanks, as always, Kate for this detailed clarification. (+ I hope you manage to ™ that ASCII shrug, as it's so your signature thing! 😛)

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This is such a good post that makes an important point. Rejection is part of the process. I like to use it as a fuel to power me forward -- something I've learned after many years in the journalism and writing game. I wrote a similar post on my Substack recently.

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I love your genuine enthusiasm and passion that comes through! You can tell you're excited by this story, and ultimately the most important thing is getting this book published and into the hands of readers. I do appreciate you giving this glimpse into the "other side" of the querying process. (And Ripped Bodice in LA is fantastic!)

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Wow, 20k subscribers! Congrats Kate! You’re helping a lot of people! 🤩

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Thanks for the candid post about what it's like on your side of the fence. I've never queried an agent before, but you give me hope.

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Yes, after all that work, you do want people to read it. Money aside, that really is the most important thing. I've taken a course with Hay House, and the CEO said, self publish and you have to do all the marketing. Publish traditionally, you do all the marketing. Nuff said!

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Thanks for offering a refreshing perspective and helping us authors recognize the humanity of agents. Just kidding--of course I know agents are human, but all too often we forget that in the sometimes crazed pursuit of publication.

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I enjoy and value the way you flipped the rejection scenario. Writers are so accustomed to closed doors. Reading about your experience with the dreaded word "no" helped me appreciate both sides of the agent/author courtship. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your heart, and your humor. And I LOVED how supportive you still are of the author's work - despite her choosing another agent.

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I’ve worked for many years in the music business, as an A&R person (basically a talent scout). About 20 years ago when I was working for Sony I had a meeting with a 16 year old Rihanna. It was the first A&R meeting she ever took. My colleague and I left and immediately called our bosses to set up a meeting for her with the label president the following week. The next day, she had a meeting with our competitor, Universal, and LA Reid refused to let her leave the office until he had a signed contract. The deal was done before we ever even got our follow up! But my colleague saw Rihanna many years later at an event and she remembered that first meeting! Sometimes the excitement of seeing something great before almost anyone else is it’s own reward-- or has to be.

Really enjoyed the post. As a writer, it’s so good to be reminded that everyone is a seller and a buyer at the same time.

Thanks!

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I don't think this makes you look bad at all. If anything, you come off as reasonable and grounded. As a writer, it is difficult to know what is going on in the mind of an agent, so your honesty is appreciated. I've had my share of rejections and it's never easy, but it's nice to know there is a human being with feelings on the other side of the Query Manager form.

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I recently heard a podcaster/writer talk about how with her newest book she had offers from FIVE agents and had to choose between them and then with that agent she got offers from MULTIPLE editors/publishers and her book went to auction. I was SO delighted for her! We hear so many stories of authors experiencing rejection over and over again that it's really fun when someone clearly is in their zone and having CHOICE (which of course brings its own challenges I'm sure). This author has many other books under her belt, some self-published and some with smaller presses. Her new book is with a big five and I bet it's going to do really well. Such a testament to the power of sticking with it.

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