For the record I actually love when your answer to something is the shrug emoji (this is a sincere comment, not sarcasm). So much about writing and editing and publishing is shrug emoji
Thanks so much for this! Agents and editors are just human people looking for work they appreciate, and this is a great reminder to start with a clear explanation and basic human decency. Excellent.
I recently watched a Pete Holmes comedy special and the best bit was his observation that we all offend somebody sometime (we offend ourselves at times) — he asks “Do you ever get home from a party, toss your keys in the bowl and say to yourself ‘I am not for everyone.’ This struck me as hilarious. It has become a mantra of sorts, a gentle reminder to myself that a) you cannot please everyone, and b) it wouldn’t hurt to occasionally take a second, later in the day, for the “hey, did I say something somewhat stupid earlier?” self cross-check. I have only published academic type papers, zero experience querying, but I have to think you’d WANT many agents to not respond to your work. Many years ago I chaired a national committee that chose award winners from a global entry pool. So many people would ask me how they could make their application appeal to everyone on the committee and I had to tell them that an approach like that would work against them. If your work appeals to everyone in general it probably will not appeal to anyone in particular. It’s that one person who likes a work so much, can’t stop chatting it up to all and sundry, who can swing the entire committee to choose it. The instances of negative reactions to submissions, based on purely personal quirks, triggers, or preconceived ideas, were always eventually outweighed by the positive responses to those aspects of the submissions that shone through. Maybe the ideal scenario would be to have just one agent read one’s query and think “No one else will want this! It’s so me! I am the only one who truly gets this!” and then sells everyone around them on it. Ok, maybe that’s a little over the top, but you know what I mean. It’s great that the publishing world is a shrug emoji; otherwise it wouldn’t be a world with any surprises.
I completely get it! No one can or ever will please everyone, that fallacy should be left to those who preach what they can not follow or believe. Great advice, Kate! You brought peace to the query stress process!
THANK YOU for this. Recognizing that agents are merely (overworked) people just like me helped me right the internal power imbalance in my head. At the end of the day, we really are just trying to share our work.
Such a valuable read, thank you! I really try to keep in mind that, whether it's agents, hiring managers, banks, whatever... they need you too. Agents need writers to represent, hiring managers are actively looking to fill a position, banks need people to take out loans... Yes, statistically you will likely get a lot more nos than yeses, so it's easy to start thinking that everyone you contact has already decided that you will automatically be rejected, but that's not the case. It's a cliche but: Someone somewhere will get a yes. Why shouldn't that be you?
I just want to thank you for these posts, Kate. They make me nod and laugh and they also remind me that agents are people just like writers are people. It's easy to start thinking that I'm submitting my work to a Rejection Robot, when really there's another human being at the other end of the message.
Thank you for this lovely, reassuring letter. I actually just submitted a short story to a magazine right before reading your post. Many of the same kind of questions/thoughts had been swirling in my mind as I prepped to hit the send button. But I feel more relaxed after reading your post. :)
Thank you Kate. I think I speak for many writers when I say agents are the missing piece of the puzzle. We are educated and well-read, have won awards and grants, publish heavily in magazines and lit journals, and have many editors encouraging us. And yet we never hear back from agents. It's not like we can, with enough patience and creativity, fit them into the puzzle. We used all the pieces, and the last one isn't in the box.
I like to believe that if I behave in good faith--professional, courteous, etc etc--that I'll get that sort of response in return...and mostly (MOSTLY) that's what happens. I figure when people annoy me it's not intentional (MOSTLY--looking at you, my teenage son), so I hope that's what happens in the other direction. Not that *I* could ever be annoying. ;)
Without a doubt, my life got so much better when I stopped worrying (as much) about whether I'm "annoying" other people. Some people are just perpetually annoyed and that's not my problem! This doesn't mean I should be a jerk, but I can pursue my life and work without tiptoeing around all the people who just find the world annoying regardless of what I do or don't do. Honestly, those are the kind of people I don't want to work with anyway! I love the generous spirits of the world who give each other the benefit of the doubt and deal with challenges with grace and humor!
For the record I actually love when your answer to something is the shrug emoji (this is a sincere comment, not sarcasm). So much about writing and editing and publishing is shrug emoji
I’ve become fond of your shrug emoji too! Because it’s honest.
Thanks so much for this! Agents and editors are just human people looking for work they appreciate, and this is a great reminder to start with a clear explanation and basic human decency. Excellent.
I recently watched a Pete Holmes comedy special and the best bit was his observation that we all offend somebody sometime (we offend ourselves at times) — he asks “Do you ever get home from a party, toss your keys in the bowl and say to yourself ‘I am not for everyone.’ This struck me as hilarious. It has become a mantra of sorts, a gentle reminder to myself that a) you cannot please everyone, and b) it wouldn’t hurt to occasionally take a second, later in the day, for the “hey, did I say something somewhat stupid earlier?” self cross-check. I have only published academic type papers, zero experience querying, but I have to think you’d WANT many agents to not respond to your work. Many years ago I chaired a national committee that chose award winners from a global entry pool. So many people would ask me how they could make their application appeal to everyone on the committee and I had to tell them that an approach like that would work against them. If your work appeals to everyone in general it probably will not appeal to anyone in particular. It’s that one person who likes a work so much, can’t stop chatting it up to all and sundry, who can swing the entire committee to choose it. The instances of negative reactions to submissions, based on purely personal quirks, triggers, or preconceived ideas, were always eventually outweighed by the positive responses to those aspects of the submissions that shone through. Maybe the ideal scenario would be to have just one agent read one’s query and think “No one else will want this! It’s so me! I am the only one who truly gets this!” and then sells everyone around them on it. Ok, maybe that’s a little over the top, but you know what I mean. It’s great that the publishing world is a shrug emoji; otherwise it wouldn’t be a world with any surprises.
I completely get it! No one can or ever will please everyone, that fallacy should be left to those who preach what they can not follow or believe. Great advice, Kate! You brought peace to the query stress process!
THANK YOU for this. Recognizing that agents are merely (overworked) people just like me helped me right the internal power imbalance in my head. At the end of the day, we really are just trying to share our work.
Such a valuable read, thank you! I really try to keep in mind that, whether it's agents, hiring managers, banks, whatever... they need you too. Agents need writers to represent, hiring managers are actively looking to fill a position, banks need people to take out loans... Yes, statistically you will likely get a lot more nos than yeses, so it's easy to start thinking that everyone you contact has already decided that you will automatically be rejected, but that's not the case. It's a cliche but: Someone somewhere will get a yes. Why shouldn't that be you?
I just want to thank you for these posts, Kate. They make me nod and laugh and they also remind me that agents are people just like writers are people. It's easy to start thinking that I'm submitting my work to a Rejection Robot, when really there's another human being at the other end of the message.
I am third-ing the love of the shrug emoji -- it's too perfect -- might need to see it on your Agents & Books book cover?!
Thank you for this lovely, reassuring letter. I actually just submitted a short story to a magazine right before reading your post. Many of the same kind of questions/thoughts had been swirling in my mind as I prepped to hit the send button. But I feel more relaxed after reading your post. :)
Lotta good psychology in this.
Lovely post, I see (and feel) this fear of annoying agents a lot.
Thank you Kate. I think I speak for many writers when I say agents are the missing piece of the puzzle. We are educated and well-read, have won awards and grants, publish heavily in magazines and lit journals, and have many editors encouraging us. And yet we never hear back from agents. It's not like we can, with enough patience and creativity, fit them into the puzzle. We used all the pieces, and the last one isn't in the box.
I like to believe that if I behave in good faith--professional, courteous, etc etc--that I'll get that sort of response in return...and mostly (MOSTLY) that's what happens. I figure when people annoy me it's not intentional (MOSTLY--looking at you, my teenage son), so I hope that's what happens in the other direction. Not that *I* could ever be annoying. ;)
Without a doubt, my life got so much better when I stopped worrying (as much) about whether I'm "annoying" other people. Some people are just perpetually annoyed and that's not my problem! This doesn't mean I should be a jerk, but I can pursue my life and work without tiptoeing around all the people who just find the world annoying regardless of what I do or don't do. Honestly, those are the kind of people I don't want to work with anyway! I love the generous spirits of the world who give each other the benefit of the doubt and deal with challenges with grace and humor!
I have 37 books, all on Amazon and I sell maybe 30 at the most a month. How can I improve that?
The problem is marketing costs money, and I have been unemployed since December and what I have goes to the family and surviving.
Any nuggets of wisdom you can share?