Re: decision-paralysis, if it helps—I always go by “urgency.” Not necessarily what I want to do now or what seems easiest, or the most recent request because it’s right there at the top of my inbox. I call it my Must-Do List and it helps to look at 25 “to-do’s” and be like OK which of you buddies MUST get done today, and do those. This metric usually cuts the list way down and makes it all feel more manageable, keeps me from procrastinating by doing non-urgent things, and also removes any emotion/analysis paralysis from the organizational process. 🤓📝
At one of my first jobs where I had to send a LOT of nudges we would refer to them as "gentle reminders" which probably sounds passive aggressive but makes me feel like less of a nag when I send one!
I got the Things app (srsly, that's what it's called), and paid the one-time fee for cross-device listing. It's freaking beautiful: intuitive and stream-lined: you can make your "TODAY" list, your "projects someday" list...all kinds of Things. That in my case would otherwise be spread across various notes apps, pieces of paper, journals...It's great. Like a little pocketful of nudges. My problem with nudging is that I'm always afraid the receiver of the nudge --the nudged-- feels shoved, rather than nudged. It's a fine line, for me, the shovenudge border.
Try nudging someone! Some people even appreciate it! While I’m pretty on top of my stuff, when I get a nudge reassures me the person intends to use the information for which they are nudging me. I rarely feel pushed unless it’s because I said yes to something I should’ve said no to, in which case it’s on me.
That's probably true -- I know that when I am overdue on things for students (like letters of recommendation) I appreciate a *gentle* reminder. Leslie Jamison just had a great essay somewhere (NYT?) about saying NO to things...and in fact keeping a journal of NO, along with what that "no" afforded her: more space for this or that or the other thing. Great essay.
Oh thanks for the tip! I love boundaries - reading about them, complaining when people push against them, enjoying staying home after I've held firm. . . I found the essay - can't wait to read: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/28/well/mind/saying-no.html
Thanks for this. I’ve been wrestling with nudging an agent I sent a partial to a while back, and this makes me feel a little more comfortable in sending that message.
Hi Kate. Please can you clarify footnote (2): Do agents want to know about any *received* offers, so they have a chance to counter-offer, or an *accepted* offer so they can delete the query/manuscript? Or both?
Both! Ideally you let agents know you have received an offer, so they have a chance to read your stuff and throw their hat in the ring, if they want. If you accepted an offer without giving them a chance to counter (which is fine!), let them know that, too, so they can take your query off the stack.
I've recently invested in a book specifically aimed at writers dealing with task and time management. It's full of down-to-earth, practical advice. It's called 'The Organised Writer' by Antony Johnston.
As someone who hates sending nudge emails and always assumes everyone on the receiving end hates me and thinks I'm a nag, I appreciate your note about trying to remember that we are all sending/receiving these in good faith.
As someone who is currently nudging a lot, I appreciate this. Quick question (if I may): do you as an agent appreciate a nudge from a querying writer if they’ve gotten interest from a publisher?
Thank you, but I did, and it doesn't answer it. Getting interest from another agent is different from getting interest from a publisher, I think, because the latter means that a huge part of the agent's job would potentially already be done.
I think the important part of both is the difference between "interest" and "offer." There's a lot of room between interest and offer and one doesn't always lead to another. Generally speaking, I'd hold off until someone makes an offer (and you still want an agent even if you've got the offer) but if you really feel compelled to update, that's ok, too. It's not a deal breaker. This happens way less often than writers getting requests/interest from agents, so it's ok to take it on a case by case basis.
Gotcha. In this case, the press said they wanted to talk about publication, and I said I didn't want to talk any further until I had an agent, lol. Catch 22! But this is helpful, thank you.
As a nudge-a-phobe, it is always helpful to me to be reminded that busy people appreciate reminders and are not put off by them as long as they are not aggressive or rude. I don't know when I took in the message "don't bother busy people" (okay, I'm a middle child from a big family, so I have a clue), but it is time for some re-programming! I appreciate the nudge. :)
Such a great reminder that the way we translate communication in our heads is half of the communication! I appreciate the reminder this week to see the best in "a nudge" from someone else and to think the best when sending off gentle questions to others. 💙
Re: decision-paralysis, if it helps—I always go by “urgency.” Not necessarily what I want to do now or what seems easiest, or the most recent request because it’s right there at the top of my inbox. I call it my Must-Do List and it helps to look at 25 “to-do’s” and be like OK which of you buddies MUST get done today, and do those. This metric usually cuts the list way down and makes it all feel more manageable, keeps me from procrastinating by doing non-urgent things, and also removes any emotion/analysis paralysis from the organizational process. 🤓📝
I love this! Rewriting my to dos as must dos right now!
At one of my first jobs where I had to send a LOT of nudges we would refer to them as "gentle reminders" which probably sounds passive aggressive but makes me feel like less of a nag when I send one!
Gentle reminder is the passive aggressive possibility… the next level.
I also offer the possibility that the email went to spam as if it was nobody's fault at all.
It’s like the dating game… or maybe he’s not that into you(r writing).
I got the Things app (srsly, that's what it's called), and paid the one-time fee for cross-device listing. It's freaking beautiful: intuitive and stream-lined: you can make your "TODAY" list, your "projects someday" list...all kinds of Things. That in my case would otherwise be spread across various notes apps, pieces of paper, journals...It's great. Like a little pocketful of nudges. My problem with nudging is that I'm always afraid the receiver of the nudge --the nudged-- feels shoved, rather than nudged. It's a fine line, for me, the shovenudge border.
Try nudging someone! Some people even appreciate it! While I’m pretty on top of my stuff, when I get a nudge reassures me the person intends to use the information for which they are nudging me. I rarely feel pushed unless it’s because I said yes to something I should’ve said no to, in which case it’s on me.
That's probably true -- I know that when I am overdue on things for students (like letters of recommendation) I appreciate a *gentle* reminder. Leslie Jamison just had a great essay somewhere (NYT?) about saying NO to things...and in fact keeping a journal of NO, along with what that "no" afforded her: more space for this or that or the other thing. Great essay.
Oh thanks for the tip! I love boundaries - reading about them, complaining when people push against them, enjoying staying home after I've held firm. . . I found the essay - can't wait to read: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/28/well/mind/saying-no.html
Loved this! Everything happens via nudge!
Thanks for the motivation to nudge another author!
Inspirational, helpful, and caring for others, nudging is a part of my passion. Thanks to Erin Bowman for sharing your substack post of 2/27/24!
Thanks for this. I’ve been wrestling with nudging an agent I sent a partial to a while back, and this makes me feel a little more comfortable in sending that message.
Hi Kate. Please can you clarify footnote (2): Do agents want to know about any *received* offers, so they have a chance to counter-offer, or an *accepted* offer so they can delete the query/manuscript? Or both?
Both! Ideally you let agents know you have received an offer, so they have a chance to read your stuff and throw their hat in the ring, if they want. If you accepted an offer without giving them a chance to counter (which is fine!), let them know that, too, so they can take your query off the stack.
I've recently invested in a book specifically aimed at writers dealing with task and time management. It's full of down-to-earth, practical advice. It's called 'The Organised Writer' by Antony Johnston.
As someone who hates sending nudge emails and always assumes everyone on the receiving end hates me and thinks I'm a nag, I appreciate your note about trying to remember that we are all sending/receiving these in good faith.
As someone who is currently nudging a lot, I appreciate this. Quick question (if I may): do you as an agent appreciate a nudge from a querying writer if they’ve gotten interest from a publisher?
See footnote 2 of the post.
Thank you, but I did, and it doesn't answer it. Getting interest from another agent is different from getting interest from a publisher, I think, because the latter means that a huge part of the agent's job would potentially already be done.
I think the important part of both is the difference between "interest" and "offer." There's a lot of room between interest and offer and one doesn't always lead to another. Generally speaking, I'd hold off until someone makes an offer (and you still want an agent even if you've got the offer) but if you really feel compelled to update, that's ok, too. It's not a deal breaker. This happens way less often than writers getting requests/interest from agents, so it's ok to take it on a case by case basis.
Gotcha. In this case, the press said they wanted to talk about publication, and I said I didn't want to talk any further until I had an agent, lol. Catch 22! But this is helpful, thank you.
As a nudge-a-phobe, it is always helpful to me to be reminded that busy people appreciate reminders and are not put off by them as long as they are not aggressive or rude. I don't know when I took in the message "don't bother busy people" (okay, I'm a middle child from a big family, so I have a clue), but it is time for some re-programming! I appreciate the nudge. :)
"be kind and professional and hope for the best" -- I think this is going to be my new motto. Thanks!
THANK YOU FOR THE NUDGE!
Such a great reminder that the way we translate communication in our heads is half of the communication! I appreciate the reminder this week to see the best in "a nudge" from someone else and to think the best when sending off gentle questions to others. 💙
This is great. Literally worked on my author questionnaire today!